What does passion, happiness and motivation mean for a working mum?
A WhatsApp dialogue with a friend who is in her 30s
An ordinary day full of business meetings. The first combat of the day — putting the kid to the school- had finished and now I got armed for the second battle, “workday”.
I am working from home mum; I have one son and am 42 years old. Luckily I love my job. But of course, like all others, my job is also demanding, and I want to deliver more.
The definition of “working from home mum” has evolved in the last two years. In the lockdown periods, all parents/carers wore different hats. Compared to those days, most of us feel luckier since kids can go to school now.
Also, companies get flexible; most of them support hybrid working, which brings a lot of efficiencies. And women find the work from home more efficient than men.
According to the Vox EU research, women are more productive working online since providing women with the flexible option to work from home will be an ‘equaliser’, as the time saved from travelling to work and meeting people face-to-face can help balance off work and childcare time constraints.
However, in the last two years, mums’ thoughts also changed about the working life. According to McKinsey research, in 2020, 23% of working women with children under 10 years old considered leaving their jobs, while this ratio for men was 13%.
Having the right balance between work and home became a master of arts for women. And it is always an open tab in our minds which always use high CPU
I wanted to take a break between my online meetings and say Hi to an old friend. Unfortunately, she was having a blue day, and we have the conversation below:
Sinem: How are you, dear? Is everything ok?
Friend: Not bad! I am a bit sleepy head though; I want to go to bed at 8–9 pm. I guess I am in a depressive mode, and I feel like I lost my ‘Joy of Life.’
Sinem: I hear you; I feel the same tiredness and thought it was because of winter. My husband says it is because of a lack of fulfilment.
Friend: Make sense. I do not know how to solve the unfulfillment tho
Sinem: I understand what you mean by losing the “Joy of Life”. Our life understanding is more dependent on external factors. Sadly, lockdowns cut off that channel, and we couldn’t get what we needed. Yet, life is not outside; it is inside. We need to turn into ourselves. Happiness and joy are in us. We can heal our internal climate by focusing on ourselves.
Friend: Well said! However, I am in a deadlock; I want to quit my job and take care of my kids. My heart and thoughts are with them. However, we are not on the same page with my husband.
Sinem: When it comes to the joy of life, I always think about the people who have overcome the big traumas. I guess they hadn’t put energy on the lockdowns economic changes, and they hung out to life whatever it took. I think we should do the same.
Friend: Good point!
Sinem: I do not know your husband’s POV; however, I can suggest you think on the question of “Who Am I”. Also, your kids are young now; they are dependent on you. How about 3–5 years later, when they want to spend more time with their friends and spend long hours at school. What would you want to do with your extra time, then? Do you have any passion?
Friend: I do not have any clue about my passion. Do you have any passion?
Sinem: I guess my passion is writing and running. It does not mean I am doing great, but I love to do it!
Friend: If you could name them as your passion, good for you. I wish I could write something; it has been on my mind since the university, haven’t written a word for years.
Sinem: I do not think passion has a universal definition, so if you like or love something more than others, it is enough to be your passion. If it feels you better, there is no need to put a name, right? You may need something new, or maybe you don’t. You can only understand it if you can focus on yourself. If you have enough time with yourself, you may find a volcano in you ready to erupt or fertile lands to grow new ideas. You need to find that deepness in you, and meditation could help.
Friend: Why not, but I guess my problem is moving; I do not make the first move, I can not do it. What do you suggest for that?
Friend: And my definition for passion is; doing something without getting bored or tired, overcoming all the impediments. I guess my description is too sharp because of my perfectionism.
Sinem: If you ask me how to make the first move, I suggest building habits, but I insist you focus on yourself first. For instance, if you have some time alone, have 1 minute of affirmation in front of the mirror. Start to meditate even for 5 minutes.
Also, please keep in mind -I remind myself all the time- Life comes you with all its beauty and richness, life is ready to walk with you, welcome it.
Friend: Yes, you are right! I feel so much better. Thanks for the chat!
Most of the time, we ‘women’ suffer to fill the roles downloaded to us by the culture, family or society. And we lost our path in our lives.
But in reality, if we want, we can be anyone; we can do anything we want unless we are sure this is something we need.
We can try anything that resonates with who we are now and our better future version.
Life is a journey to nurture our souls, follow our ambitions, dreams, and passions, OUR PATH.
I wish all the best for everyone, especially for my sisters who want to follow their HEARTS.
